Teach Us How To Pray

I was praying with a brother at a men’s group function at church this past week. He confessed to me afterward that he wasn’t quite sure how to pray. I’ve grappled with this in my journey, so I wanted to provide a few thoughts that I’ve gleaned from Scripture over the years.

First off, one of the most important things, is that prayer is meant to be a conversation between you and God. Jesus models this for us regularly. He talks to his Father as though He is right there–because He is. But He is “right there” for you and me, too.

Along those same lines, another observation is that no special language is required for something you say to God to be considered a prayer. Just tell Him whatever is on your mind. Talk to Him as you would a friend. This is what He wants for us, to be in a relationship with Him. I think we all have a human tendency to think that there is some magic formula to prayer, that if we ask for something in just the right way, God will grant us what we are asking for. But this makes God seem like nothing more than a cosmic slot machine–put your dollar words in and pull the lever, hoping that this time you’ll get lucky.

Well, what about the Lord’s Prayer? you may wonder. Isn’t that sort of a “magic formula?” No, it’s not. In Matthew’s recollection of Jesus teaching his disciples what has come to be known as the Lord’s Prayer, he noted that Jesus said, “This, then, is how you should pray.” (Matthew 6:9 (NIV), emphasis added). In other words, he lays out a structure for prayer. He is not giving us the exact words to say. He is pointing us that while God wants us to talk to Him like we would our dad, we must always remember to revere Him as well. He is reminding us that our dependence on God is a daily endeavor–not a “one and done” experience. He is helping us remember that the extent we forgive others is how we ourselves will be forgiven.

Something else I’ve learned about prayer from Jesus is that we are to be persistent about it–see Luke 18:1-8. There are still many mysteries about prayer, so I admit I don’t fully understand why He directs us in this way. One guess I have (this is not something from the Bible, only a guess on my part) is that God wants us to learn to depend on Him and to lean on Him daily–going back to the reminder in the Lord’s Prayer to give us our daily bread.

Another observation to close with: if you agree that prayer is meant to be a conversation between you and God, then part of your praying life should include listening as well since conversations are dialogues. This is admittedly another challenging aspect of prayer, and probably worthy of its own blog post. For now, let me say that the most common way I hear from God is through His Word. Sometimes it will be something I read in my daily Bible reading or hear in the Daily Audio Bible passages for the day. Other times, it may be one of my favorite verses popping into my mind.

In any case, what matters most about praying is that you do it. This is one of the most powerful weapons we have against the evil one. It brings us closer to God, and it calls His power into our lives. What could be better than that?

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I am a Child of God

<Author’s note: I reworded this to try to clarify my point>

Who am I?

Within my family, I have many titles: husband and father; son and brother before that. I love those roles. I am loved in them. In spite of that, sometimes I allow myself to believe lies fed straight to me by the evil one. I allow myself to believe perceptions that logically I know are not the truth. I have lost sleep over this at times, which is utter foolishness. From time to time, for example, I have given in to the lie that my family does not respect me. This is not the truth, but our enemy is a great deceiver. Love is messy, and family love is no exception. We can pick at each other, say things we don’t mean. We can believe things that are not true. These are all weapons of the evil one, whose goal it is to break what is beautiful and sacred.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Jesus, as recorded in John 10:10

On the other hand, at work, I have the titles of Vice President and Account Executive. There I am shown a tremendous amount of respect. But there, of course, I also do not experience the love that I feel within my family. So if I allowed myself to be defined by the high level of respect that I experience at work, that wouldn’t make sense because that’s not reality. That’s not the truth, either. I am very good at what I do, but I’m not perfect, I make mistakes. I am human. So if I were to start patting myself on the back because of my achievements at work or the respect I receive there, the evil one will surely find a way to use that against me–pride goes before the fall, and all that (a loose translation of Proverbs 16:8). I must always remember–and I remind myself daily–that God has given me all the abilities and opportunities that have carried me to these heights. I did not get here on my own–God made the way for me.

Anyway, as I was wrestling with all of this, I felt God put this song on my heart to answer my identity question: No Longer Slaves by Bethel Music. In particular, the lyrics that popped into my mind were these:

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

No Longer Slaves lyrics © Bethel Music Publishing, by Brian Johnson / Joel Case / Jonathan David Helser / Joel D Case

It was funny, too, because a really good friend of mine told me the next day that this song had been going through his mind as well. As I’ve mentioned before, I do not believe in coincidences with God. I think God was making sure I got the message. Or more likely, that we were both getting the message.

So that’s the title I need to focus on: Child of God. Of course, I am still a dad, husband, son, and brother, for all the glory and the grime of family life. And I’m still a VP and Account Executive. But above all that, I am a child of God. I’m no longer a slave to respect or performance. God loves me in spite of my worst days. Thanks to Jesus, He forgets all of my bad behavior as soon as I ask for forgiveness, and maybe even before that. More than anybody else in the world, God loves me for me. I can’t earn that, but neither can I screw it up.

Only God defines my identity. That is the good news, the best news. I am swimming in an ocean of grace–we all are, those of us who accept the title. I am a child of God.

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Even Job Has a Happy Ending

This past week, in the Daily Audio Bible’s journey through God’s Word, we slogged through the book of Job. I know I’m not alone when I say this is one of the most difficult books of the Bible to process–if not the most difficult. In fact, a dear friend of mine believes that this book should not have been selected as one of the books of the Bible when it was canonized. I also think he’s not alone in that assertion.

For anyone not familiar with this book, here it is in a nutshell: it appears that God more or less challenges Satan to find any fault in Job’s faith. As part of this dare, God allows Satan to do anything to Job except take his life. As a result, Job experiences what I think is one of the two worst days described in the Bible (the other being Jesus’s crucifixion). In a single day, Job loses all of his 10 children and all of his wealth.

What’s most troubling to me about this whole situation is that God allows Satan to do this to Job. Or even worse, could it be that God caused this to happen to Job? I can hardly even consider this as a possibility, but Job 42:11 says this: “All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring.” (NIV, emphasis added).

When I dwell on this, there’s a part of me that can’t help but wonder if my friend isn’t right about this book not fitting into the Bible. Whether God allows this to happen to Job or, worse, causes this to happen to Job, either way, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It’s very difficult to reconcile this picture of God with the way I tend to think of Him–a kindly Father who wants what’s best for us and loves us so much that it ends up costing Him His son.

But here’s the thing. With God, there are often 2 sides to the same coin–a deeper theme or high story arc than what you see at first glance. Jesus’s crucifixion, for example, made absolutely no sense in the moment. I mean, God was executed in the most painful and shameful way possible? Really?? But to those of us who have grappled with, understood, and accepted the bigger story arc, we realize that this was the only way that we could have been made right with God, and we also see that God is giving us a glimpse of the ultimate victory we who call on His name will all experience over pain and suffering and death.

And so it is in the book of Job. While I confess that most of the first 41.5 (out of 42) chapters of the book are terrible and I dread them each year I make this journey, at the same time I have to point out that there’s a deeper theme as well: through all his misery and suffering, Job never lost his faith in God. Sure, he was angry with God, but it never rocked his faith. And in the end, God appreciated Job’s honest anger much more than the shallow platitudes Job’s well-meaning but bumbling friends had babbled on about. In fact, God left it up to Job whether to pray for his friends to be forgiven for their foolishness (see Job 42:7-9).

And also in the end, God rewarded Job for his faithfulness. At the start of the book, Job was a very wealthy man, but at the end–in the last 11 verses out of 42 chapters–he was even wealthier:

The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. 

Job 42:12

This is all because he never lost his faith.

Finally, there’s one last thing to keep in mind from this book. Sometimes whether or not a story has a happy ending depends on where you define the end to be. By earthly standards, it makes complete sense that Job could have said that his life was over on that terrible day when he lost everything. Who would blame him if he had declared that to be the end? But he didn’t. And because of that, his story–this miserable book of the Bible–has a happy ending.

There are a lot of endings in this world that do not appear to be happy. Far too many people die sooner than they should, from war, famine, disease. Watching the news, it’s easy to conclude that evil has the upper hand.

But your definition of a happy ending depends on where you draw the finish line.

Most would draw it on the day you lose everything. The day you die tragically early. The day you lose your spouse.

But Job saw beyond that, and God wants us to do that as well. God declares that our ending is really just our beginning. The first 41.5 chapters vanish in an instant as we are drawn into the Light of His presence. Everything that ever went wrong in our life is suddenly made right.

If Job’s story can have a happy ending, so can ours.

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No Such Thing as Unanswered Prayer

Last week, I talked a little bit about prayer. I also mentioned Pete Greig’s book, How to Pray. The combination of these two things got me thinking a lot about prayer over the course of the last week. Honestly, I have also been grappling with it in my own journey lately as well since a dear friend of mine seems to be close to losing the battle with cancer that she has been fighting for over 10 years. If something like that doesn’t make you wrestle with God about prayer, I don’t know what will.

Let me preface my message by saying that just because I am writing this, it doesn’t mean that I have this all figured out. What I am writing here represents the small sliver of understanding that God showed me as I have been processing it. Like always, I am basing my assertions on the Bible, combined with my own personal experience and observations. But of course, that doesn’t mean it’s all correct, so I’d love to hear back from you if you disagree with anything I say here.

With that out of the way, let me jump in. I think the first thing to put out there is that I think the reason we all–myself included–allow ourselves to believe the lie that God does not answer our prayers is simply because He does not answer them in the way we would like and/or in the timing we would like.

Here are a of couple silly examples to illustrate.

First, if you came to me and asked me for a beet, I might respond by saying, “I’m not going to do that because beets are disgusting, but here’s a carrot instead.” For the sake of this illustration, if we considered your request like a prayer, you would claim that I didn’t answer your prayer because I didn’t give you a beet. However, I could argue to the contrary: I answered your “prayer” by giving you something better than a beet.

Secondly, let’s say you called me in a bind and asked for $2000 to cover your home mortgage payment that month. Let’s suppose that I don’t send you the money you need now, but three months from now, I pay off the entire $200,000 remaining on your mortgage. For that entire 3-month period, you would probably be grumbling about me every chance you get because I didn’t answer your “prayer” in the timing that suited you best. But after I paid off your house, you’d probably feel a little silly for ever doubting me, and you’d probably tell all your friends what a swell and trustworthy guy I am.

So, now let’s take a quick look at the different ways God answers our prayers and why we are tempted to think He doesn’t answer them.

When God’s Answer is “Yes”

This, of course, is the only type of answer that we typically praise God for. “Hallelujah, I found a job! God is good!” This is also usually the only type of answer in which we recognize that God has answered our prayers.

There are many instances of this type of answer in the Bible. Jesus prays to raise his friend Lazarus from the dead and Lazarus comes stumbling out of the grave (see John 11:41-44). In case you’re thinking that doesn’t count since Jesus is himself part of the triune God, he doesn’t give us a pass on that. Instead, he challenged his disciples (and us along with them) that if they/we had faith even as large as a tiny mustard seed, we could tell a mountain to move and it would obey (see Matthew 17:14-21). Also, examples abound of “regular” people who received “yes” answers to their prayers: Elijah prayed for it not to rain and they had a 3.5-year drought (1 Kings 17), then he prayed for it to rain and it rained (interestingly, he had to pray seven times for it to rain before a cloud formed–see 1 Kings 18:41-16); blind Bartimaeus asked for his sight to be restored, and Jesus made it so immediately, explaining that Barticmaeus’s faith had made him well (Mark 10:46-52).

When God’s Answer is “No”

But wait–was it only because of Bartimaeus’s faith that he was healed? No, there are other people in the Bible who Jesus heals whose faith we hear nothing about. Or what about us–when we feel like there is no answer to our prayers, is it because we lack faith?

OK, so here it is: “no” is an answer, too. None of us like to be told “no” (some of us have more practice at it than others), but it is an appropriate response to a question.

But why would a God who loves us ever tell us “no”? Anyone who has ever been a parent should be able to explain simply that it’s not healthy for their child to give them everything they ask for, especially since some of their requests are ludicrous and immature.

Well, what about when we’re not praying for something as trivial as a piece of candy at the store? What about when we are praying for healing for a loved one? I prayed for healing for my mom and mother-in-law, but God took them anyway. I and everyone from our church small group have been praying earnestly and full of faith for healing for this sister of ours who will probably lose her battle with cancer soon. I’ve been praying for my two prodigal children to realize that Jesus is the answer, the peace and comfort they have been looking for in all sorts of dumb places, but they remain outside the faith.

Why would God say “no” to these prayers?

I don’t have any great answers. One thought is that God made the physical world, along with the natural laws that govern it. If He broke those rules every time someone prayed for supernatural outcomes, there would in effect be no natural laws–the world would be nothing but chaos. I know, not very satisfying.

In a blog post last year, I also speculated that, at least as it pertains to healing, such prayers may actually be answered by God calling the suffering person home, since that person is restored to perfect health, with no trace of cancer or heart disease or dementia. Also not very comforting.

Although it doesn’t answer the question why God would say no to such prayers, maybe it can offer a little comfort to reflect upon the fact that God the Father even said “no” to His own beloved Son in response to his most desperate prayer. In the Garden of Gethsemane, not long before Jesus was to be arrested, beaten, and executed, he begged his Father to take the cup of suffering from him. He was so distressed that he was sweating drops of blood.

But God even told His own Son “no”.

To his credit, knowing that our salvation was at stake, Jesus ended his desperate prayer, “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). Once again, Jesus set the perfect, albeit challenging, example for us to follow.

When God’s Answer is “Not That” or “Not Now”

As I illustrated with my silly examples earlier, these answers are very difficult to discern from a plain “no”. For me, it is usually only through hindsight that I can see how God has in fact answered my prayers in better ways and in better timing than I had asked or imagined.

Here’s the thing: even though I don’t mean to, I suppose I am trying to take on God’s role when I prescribe to Him what I want the outcome of my prayer to be–for example, if I prayed for a beet (which I wouldn’t) instead of sustenance. Similarly, I guess you could say I am trying to steal His big giant hat and put it on myself when I judge that He has not answered my prayer. He has told me (and all of us) that His ways are higher than mine and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:9)–how odd that we need to be reminded of this so often.

Final Thoughts

In closing, I’ll leave you with a few thoughts (and reminders for myself) of what to do if you feel like God is not answering your prayers.

First, KEEP ASKING! This seems almost counterintuitive and common sense at the same time. Anyone who has had a child ask for something over and over and over again knows how annoying it can be. And I really try my best not to annoy anyone. But Jesus himself told us to do this! See the Parable of the Persistent Widow in Luke 18:1-8.

Second, look for ways that God might have answered your prayers in ways you hadn’t expected. Did God give you a carrot instead of a beet? If so, thank Him immediately.

Next, be patient! Remember, Abram and Sarai had to wait 25 years before the promise of Isaac was fulfilled. God may be waiting for exactly the right moment in time to answer your prayer. I know Amazon.com and the plethora of streaming services, among others, have conditioned us to expect instant gratification, but–news flash!–God understands the value of patience and perfect timing.

Finally–and you may have to do this through gritted teeth, like me–practice ending your prayers like Jesus did in Gethsemane: “Yet not my will, but your will be done.”

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No Gold Scepter Required – But Still, We Should Tremble

This past week I had an interesting confluence of thought-threads that inspired me to write this post. I suppose you could call it a coincidence, but from what I’ve seen of the way God has worked through my multi-decade journey, coincidences have gone the way of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy–I no longer believe in them. I think that God orchestrates things in our lives to help us connect seemingly separate dots–to show us a new way to think about something or to nudge us into action. I also think He does this far more often than we notice.

But I digress already. The first stream in this interesting confluence came when I was listening to a great book on prayer, How to Pray: A Simple Guide for Normal People, by Pete Greig. In it, he talks about meditating over a simple phrase at the start of your prayer time–anything that will help center your mind and chase away distractions. I decided to try this at my prayer time afterward. I left my mind open to whatever phrase God would put there, and what popped into my head was, “You are my King.” So for that day and the days since, I’ve been starting my prayer time by meditating on that phrase a few times, accompanied by some deep, intentional breaths.

The second stream flowed into my consciousness through the Daily Audio Bible reading the next day. This week we made our way through the book of Esther. Mordecai, Esther’s uncle, needed Esther to plead before King Xerxes on behalf of all the Jews in the land, to save them from Haman’s evil plot to kill them all. Even though she was one of Xerxes’s wives, Esther was reluctant to go before the king, explaining:

“All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king.”

Esther 4:11 (NIV, emphasis added)

In case the suspense is killing you and you don’t remember there even being a book in the Bible called “Esther”, King Xerxes extended the gold scepter, so Esther’s life was spared, enabling her to launch a counter-plot that ended up saving all the Jews in the kingdom. This brought home Mordecai’s prophetic words in response to Esther, which is probably my favorite verse in Esther:

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14b

But I digress again. Anyway, shortly after hearing this story in the Daily Audio Bible reading, when I came to my prayer time, I entered God’s throne room breathily repeating the words, “You are my King.”

Then, POW! Jesus connected the dots for me: “Don’t take for granted the ability to enter into My Presence! And be glad you don’t have to fear for your life–no gold scepter required. Only because I love you.”

ZAP! I was electrified like a moth drawn too close to a bug zapper.

I have to admit that sometimes I can be too cavalier about entering into God’s presence. I pop my head in and rattle off a few requests, then hurry on my way, as though God were my assistant. I have been in a relationship with Jesus for so long that occasionally I allow my familiarity to cloud my vision of who He really is.

Yes, Jesus loves me. He sticks with me, closer than a brother. He wants what’s best for me. He will do anything for me, and He always gives me what I need, but not always what I want (which is part of what I need, to not always get what I want!). What a friend we have in Jesus, and all that.

But…

But, He is God. He spoke the universe into existence. With ease, He parted the Red Sea to enable the Israelites to escape a murderous Phaoroh on dry ground. With a word, He totally squelched an angry storm that was powerful enough to scare the hell out of experienced sailors. He defeated death.

In other words, He is not to be taken lightly.

It is entirely appropriate that we find peace and comfort in God’s presence. As David famously wrote:

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.

Psalm 23:2-3 (NIV)

But it’s also entirely appropriate that we remember God’s awesome power as we enter into His presence. We can and should love Him and cherish our relationship with Him, but we should also tremble when we come in contact with Him.

Even though there are plenty of passages in the Bible that support the idea of trembling in the presence of the Lord, I want to shift over to C.S. Lewis because he also said it very well. In one of my favorite passages from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (from The Chronicles of Narnia), Lucy encounters Aslan the lion (the Christ figure from the series) for the first time. She’s terrified. She asks her traveling companion, Mr. Beaver if the lion is safe. Mr. Beaver’s response is classic C.S. Lewis:

Borrowed from Focus on the Family

So enter into God’s presence whenever you want, thankful that out of His goodness, no gold scepter is required. He welcomes you and loves you and longs for you to talk with Him.

But also remember that as loving as He is, He’s also not entirely safe. This is because when you come before God, you gather up your life in your hands and offer it over to Him. And you just never know what He’s going to do with it.

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Earn This – Oh Wait, You Can’t!

In the epic World War II film “Saving Private Ryan,” there’s a moving scene (among many) in which Captain Miller (Tom Hanks’ character), who is about to pass into eternity as one of many men who sacrificed their lives to (you guessed it) save Private Ryan (Matt Damon’s character). Right before Miller dies, though, he asks Ryan to come close so he can impart his final words. He says to the young soldier, “Earn this…earn it.” Here’s that clip, in case you haven’t seen the movie (or to refresh your memory):

This morphs into the final scene of the movie, in which we see the elder Ryan standing over Miller’s grave in the National Cemetary. It becomes clear that he has lived his life trying to earn the sacrifice of Miller and so many others when he says to Miller’s grave, “I hope that, at least in your eyes, I’ve earned what all of you have done for me.” Then he turns to his wife and says, “Tell me I’ve led a good life…tell me I’m a good man.”

This is a moving couple of scenes because it’s gratifying to see that Private Ryan did everything he could to follow Captain Miller’s final order–to live in a way that made his sacrifice worthwhile. But, touching as it may be, it’s a work of fiction.

In the real world, there’s someone who, along with his own band of brothers, also made the ultimate sacrifice. He did this for me. And he also did it for you.

But here’s the thing. His last words to us were not, “Earn this.” In fact, if he were going to say anything like this, it would have been, “You can’t earn this.”

But the secular world has gotten this all wrong. Even a lot of religious people have bought into Satan’s lie. There’s a commonly accepted notion that by behaving well enough, anyone can earn their way into heaven–that God will have no choice but to accept you because you are a good person. Conversely, the thinking goes that if you behave badly enough, that will disqualify you from ever getting into heaven.

One important thing that’s overlooked and clearly not well understood by people who hold this view is God’s grace.

The Apostle Paul explains this really well and with uncharacteristic simplicity in the second chapter of his letter to the Ephesians. He starts the chapter off by pointing out that everyone has lived in disobedient opposition to God. But, he says, because God is rich in mercy, and because He loves us so much, He didn’t just turn His back on us or banish us from heaven forever. Instead, He enabled us to get right with Him by offering up His Son, Jesus, to take the punishment we deserved for our disobedience. This is the gift of grace, which he explains like this:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast

Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV, emphasis added)

When he says, “not by works,” he means that we can’t earn it. We are only saved by grace. The only thing we can–and must–do is to receive the gift of grace by placing our faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.

An analogy came to me as I was thinking through this article. We all live in darkness. But we know there’s a light switch that, if we could flip it, would enable us to live in the light. The trouble is, we can’t reach the switch to turn it on. We may think we can–we believe we can jump high enough (live well enough)–but in reality, we cannot. Only God can reach the switch. In fact, He has already turned it on, but we have covered our eyes. All we have to do now is trust Him enough to take our hands away from our faces.

Having pointed out that we can’t earn the gift of God’s salvation, I should also say that it is an entirely appropriate response to live into that–to live in such a way that shows gratitude to God for the grace He has given you. Because of God’s unbelievable gift to us, we should do the things He has asked us to do: feed the poor, show kindness to a neighbor, put others’ needs above our own, and so on.

A caution with this, though, is that if we aren’t careful, our thinking could once again devolve over time into believing that the gift of grace came after we lived well and not before it. In other words, we could return to the incorrect belief that we earned salvation, that we were such good people that God had no choice but to forgive us for our sins.

Why is this so important? For one thing, in order for us to relate correctly to God, it’s essential that we understand that our relationship with Him has everything to do with Him and nothing to do with us or what swell people we are. Also, in order for us to truly treat others the way God wants us to, we must realize that we are no better or no worse than each other. We all have screwed up. My mistakes are no better or worse than yours. Just like you, I would be living in darkness if God had not flipped the switch and helped me take my hands away from my eyes.

As Paul puts it in the next sentence in his letter to the Ephesians:

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

Bottom line, even though we can’t earn God’s grace, we should live like we are trying!

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God’s Dominion Endures from Generation to Generation

The Next Generation

How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation.

Daniel 4:3 (NIV)

I mentioned recently that my daughter and son-in-law were getting ready to bring forth my first grandchild into the world, and they succeeded in doing that this week–my grandson, Hudson, was born on August 2. I’d forgotten what a blessing it is to hold a little tiny person in your arms.

Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.

Psalms 90:1 (NIV)

The arrival of the next generation in my family tree has made me ponder a number of things, not the least of which is that the God who has walked with and guided me throughout my life (even when I wasn’t paying any attention to Him) is also walking with and guiding my daughter and her husband through their lives. This same God is also patiently waiting to guide my son and other daughter through their lives, as soon as they have eyes to see that He is there to help them. He is also waiting for Hudson to call upon His name, but in the meantime, I pray and trust that His shield of protection will protect this child.

Borrowed from YouVersion

It also occurred to me that thousands of generations of people have prayed similar prayers to that very same God over the centuries–and God has been there with them and for them throughout the ages. His love for us extends from one generation to the next. Ours is a good God. He loves us and wants what is best for us. He helps us if only we whisper His name.

What more could we ask for across the generations?

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Thankfulness on Not Thanksgiving

There is one day in a year here in the United States on which it is easy for people to remember to be thankful: Thanksgiving Day, of course. But each of us, if we think carefully about it, should be able to find many things to be thankful for every other day of the year. The trouble is, the evil one has so many tools at his disposal to steal joy and thankfulness from us–national news outlets, social media, and even our own tendency to focus more on the challenges in a day than the innumerable blessings God showers upon us, just to name a few.

But here’s the thing: the best antidote for lack of gratitude–as well as fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, impatience, sadness, and almost any other negative feeling–is to be thankful. This may seem both obvious and counterintuitive, but if you think honestly and creatively about anything, you should be able to come up with reasons to be thankful for that thing.

Hate your job? Try thanking God for it every day for a week. Thank Him for the abilities and opportunities He has given you that enable you to have that job. Thank Him for the way the job allows you to support yourself and others. See if this changes how you feel about your job, even just a little.

Impatient with a child? Thank God for that child and the time you have to spend with her or him. Remember that there are people who would like to have a child but are unable to do so. Others who had a child but lost them through tragic circumstances. Still others with children from whom they are separated. There are many ways your circumstance with your child could be worse and far more painful. Perhaps doing this every day for a week will help you be more patient with that child.

Anxious or fearful of what the future holds? Thank the One who holds the future, remembering to trust Him more than you trust yourself or your spouse or any company or country.

I could go on.

Here are a couple of other quick observations about being thankful.

First, thankfulness needs to be directed at someone. This is reflected in the more formal way of expressing gratitude: “thank you.” There’s a notion that seems to be gaining some traction these days of assuming a posture of gratitude. There is certainly nothing wrong with that, but the problem in our modern secular culture is that when people are grateful in general for the blessings in their lives, they tend to direct their gratitude toward things other than the One who gave them those blessings–“the universe”, various forms of a great life force, or even goodness (instead of God, as in substituting “thank goodness” for “thank God”). This is all nonsense. As the hymn suggests:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

From the hymn known as “Doxology”, by Thomas Ken, 1709 (emphasis added)

Second, it’s not just my idea to thank God every day. The Bible tells us that each of our prayers should be sent to God on the wings of gratitude (Philippians 4:6). It commands us to thank God in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18). It reminds us that God’s peace walks in lockstep with thankfulness (Colossians 3:15). It suggests that we enter into His presence with thanksgiving (Psalm 100:4). In short, we should always thank God for everything (Ephesians 5:18b-20).

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6 (NIV)
Borrowed from YouVersion

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Colossians 3:15 (NIV)
Borrowed from YouVersion

Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 5:18b-20 (NIV)
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Pieces of Me

I was still growing up even as I was raising my own kids. In the process, I shattered on the floor into a million little pieces. My children picked up some of the pieces and fit them into themselves. Sometimes that’s a good thing; other times, not so much. I sometimes wish I could grab hold of those pieces, the not-good ones, and exchange them for something more desirable in me. Or better yet, to take those pieces from my wife instead of me.

But it doesn’t work that way.

They collected pieces of me, pieces of my wife, and we launched them into the world, little mosaics of our making. I have been thinking of this lately for a couple reasons.

First, my older daughter is 9 days away from having her first child (via scheduled C-section). My first grandchild. The first time a baby of mine will have a baby themself.

Pieces multiplied.

Which pieces of me that my daughter collected will she pass along to her child? What a legacy to leave to the world–something that I had a hand in its existence but I cannot control.

I am confident that my daughter collected far more of the good pieces of me and my wife than the ones I wish she had left alone. We added to the mix that she always knew (and continues to know) how much we loved her (and continue to love her). Another bonus for this child who is about to burst forth into our lives is that my son-in-law is also comprised mostly of the best pieces of his loving parents.

I am trusting them and trusting God that this new little person will make the world he is inheriting a better place, either in small ways, or maybe in great ways.

The second reason I have been thinking about pieces of me is that my younger daughter turned 22 on Friday. Laying my soul bare here, I have to admit that the last 3-4 years with her have been nothing less than an ultimate test of our (my wife and my) faith, patience, and forgiveness. Yet God has walked with us, strengthened us, encouraged us, given us the right words to say so that we could do the same for and with our daughter–it has been an extremely difficult time for her as well. She finally seems to have found her way back to a path that is more life-giving than life-taking, thanks be to God. Of course, we hope and pray that she continues on this good trajectory.

So this daughter and her boyfriend had a party to celebrate her birthday. One really cool thing is that in addition to all of her young friends, she invited us to come as well. Sometimes it works out well when you storm the gates of hell for your child and you drag them back. Thankfully, this was one of those times.

But maybe even more remarkable than that was that at the party, we had the chance to talk with a young woman who is probably our daughter’s longest-term friend. And here’s the thing: this young lady credits our daughter with saving her life because, well, she did. The story is not mine to tell, so I will summarize it by saying that our daughter had to make a very difficult decision to probably save her friend’s life at the risk of losing her friendship. And even amid the tremendous struggles our daughter was enduring (which turned out to be a precursor for her own life or death battle), she made the right decision for her friend.

Speaking with this young woman made me realize that our daughter must have collected more honorable and courageous pieces of us than was evident at the time. She did the right thing for her friend even when it was hard. And even when she wasn’t doing the right thing for herself very often.

This being an encouraging Christian blog, I need to add that these two situations made me reflect that there are probably elements here that are analogous to God’s relationship with us. Pieces of Him are scattered throughout the Bible. Jesus carried them with him in his own jar of clay, and showed us how to take those pieces and make them part of ourselves.

But we don’t do that perfectly. Sometimes we hang on to our own pieces instead of exchanging them for the better ones God offers us. And yet, He has launched us into the world, even with our messy pieces. He still intends for us to use the pieces of Him to help Him bring heaven here to earth. He doesn’t control us, but He does continue to encourage us to exchange our shabby, tarnished pieces for the sparkling jewels He offers us. He hopes that we have picked up enough good pieces from Him so that we will leave the world a better place than it was when we arrived.

Also, He suffers when we wander off the Path of Life. How often do we stretch His patience and forgiveness? And yet He stormed the gates of hell for us, and continues to do so, repeatedly, to drag us back onto that Path every time something life-taking captures our attention.

And He delights when we, in moments of clarity, reflect His Light in the darkness, even in spite of the darkness surrounding us. And in those moments, God may take our meager offering and use it to save someone. It is then that pieces of Him sparkle and shine through us, when even our own darkness cannot overcome His Light.

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Feelings Follow Faithfulness

At church this morning, they mentioned that the 21st Desperation Conference took place this past week, and they described how so many of the 2000 teenagers who attended had dedicated or rededicated their lives to Christ and left the conference on fire for Jesus. I have to admit that I secretly wished that I could have gotten my two adult children, who are not followers of Christ now, to attend that conference when they were teenagers. It could have altered their faith journies to the point where maybe they would be in the faith now and would be experiencing the peace they are so desperately seeking elsewhere (in all the wrong places) right now.

Anyway, the talk of this conference reminded me of my own “Damascus Road” conversion experience (Paul’s encounter with the resurrected Christ on his way to Damascus to persecute followers of Christ there, as recounted in Acts 9:1-22). when I was 16 years old. I’ve been on fire for Jesus ever since then, which is now a very long time ago. Over those years the flame has sometimes been very brightly ablaze, like it is for those teenagers right now. But I have to admit that sometimes, it has scaled back to nothing more than smoldering embers.

Speaking with a friend this week, an axiom came back to my mind that really applies to my whole life, meaning that it is not limited just to my faith journey. In my (many) years of experience, I’ve learned that feelings follow faithfulness. Meaning that even when the feelings aren’t there, if you are faithful in doing what you know in your heart is the right thing to do, the feelings will usually follow.

Allow me to explain (well, since this is a blog post and not a conversation, I’m going to explain without waiting for permission 😊). The best way to elaborate is with a couple of examples.

Since this blog is focused on myfaith journey (and all of our journies), I’ll start with an example close to home in that space. Over the years, there have been some times–all too many, I’m sad to admit–when I did not feel like going to church. I didn’t have the feelings I thought I needed for the proper worship of our Great and Loving God. Thankfully, though, most of the time I went to church anyway. And most of the time, a beautiful and magical thing would happen: in the midst of other believers worshipping, the feelings would come. I almost always leave church feeling like I have been swept up into God’s presence, pulled onto the holiest ground, generally referred to as heaven on earth.

God is working in and through and around us to bring His Kingdom to this planet. I know that if you watch the news or surf social media, it won’t really seem like this is happening. But in those moments where the feelings have followed my faithfulness, I have sensed that it is happening. God is near. He inhabits our praise. And He also walks with us in the brokenness we bring into church and that which we drag out with us.

For those many times this has happened, I am so thankful that my faithfulness led me to church so I could feel and enjoy the presence of God, which always reminds me that we know how this story ends. Spoiler alert: God wins. In the end, there will be no death or loss or pain or tears or divisiveness, or even dentists. It is good to be reminded of this, especially on those darker days when I don’t feel like going to church.

Photo © Copyright 2022 by David K. Carpenter Photography, all rights reserved

Let me shift now to a more secular example to add and further emphasize another point. These days, I hike or walk at least 4 miles every day, pretty much regardless of the weather. During that time, I listen to the Daily Audio Bible, other audiobooks, and praise music, and I pray (yes, with my eyes open, while hiking or walking). It is consistently the richest part of my day. I look forward to it and cherish it while I’m doing it. I feel out of sorts if I ever have to miss it.

But it hasn’t always been this way. Before it became part of who I am, it was the constant struggle that many of us are probably familiar with: I have to work out at some point. I should go exercise now. Some days I just didn’t feel like it. I was too busy or too tired. The weather was too hot or too cold. I could go on and on with excuses, and if you can relate, you could probably add some of your own.

Over time, however, I got better and better at making myself go exercise even when I didn’t feel like it. How did I do this? Sometimes I would offer myself a little reward if I would go–a nice dessert, for example (counter-productive, I know, but hey, until it becomes ingrained in you, you often have to deal in little trade-offs). Sometimes I would remind myself how good I will feel afterward–sunshine, fresh air, and exertion are a great team for relieving stress! Again, you probably can think of sample deals you have made with yourself to get yourself to the gym (or whatever form of exercise you prefer).

And here’s the cool thing: after so much struggle, after so many negotiations with myself, after so many times of going out for a run, walk, or hike even when I didn’t feel like it, it has now become something that adds joy to my life.

That leads me to another point: sometimes we must pass through obedience to reach joy.

Quote Copyright © 2022 by David K. Carpenter, all rights reserved. Photo by Jake Fagan on Unsplash

I trudged through many walks to get to where I enjoy them and anticipate them eagerly.

We can feel God’s pleasure flowing through us when we do what God wired us to do. He made us, among other things, to spend quality time with him, which I think is part of what brings me joy in my hikes or walks.

He also wired us to be good at some sort of vocation, which for most of us translates into our job and career. And although most days I don’t feel like getting out of bed to go to work, I do it anyway. I can think of many other things I would rather be doing, but I don’t do those things. Instead, I focus on the task at hand, serving in my job as though I were serving God, because I am serving Him. Working for a living isn’t a great source of joy, but I have to admit that when I use the skills and abilities God has blessed me with, I do feel the satisfaction that comes from God working through me to achieve things that nobody else could. And that satisfaction dances around the edges of joy, and occasionally even tiptoes over that line.

Here’s the bottom line: a lot of times, if you keep (or start) doing the things you should do, those things can often become something you want to do because of the joy you experience from doing them. This pertains to faith-related activities–like going to church or praying–as much as it does to secular life activities like exercising and going to work. It applies to relationships as well–if you are faithful to friends and loved ones, doing the right thing by those people even when you don’t feel like it, the feelings will follow and you’ll be reminded why that person holds a cherished place in your life.

So one path to joy can be as simple as this: remembering that feelings will follow faithfulness.

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