What If God Seems Absent?

Posted on October 24, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

I thoroughly enjoy experiences where I felt like I’ve encountered the Living God. I’m blessed to feel this way after many of the worship services at my church (New Life Church). You may also have experienced such feelings at a Christian camp or conference, while on a pilgrimage, or resulting from coming in contact with inspired artwork.

But what happens when you do these things and still feel empty, like you’ve missed encountering God? Worse, what does it mean when we go for long stretches of time without feeling God’s presence?

How long, Lord? Will you hide yourself forever?

Psalms 89:46 (NIV)

This little verse in the 89th Psalm makes it clear that we humans have been dealing with apparent absences of our Creator for a very long time. It’s also evident that you’re not alone if you’ve ever wondered where God was when you needed Him, when you or someone you loved was hurting.

How are we to reconcile the potential contradiction between biblical promises that God will never leave us nor forsake us (see Deuteronomy 31:6 and Hebrews 13:5 for examples) and admissions that God seems to hide himself, like the one we see in Psalms 89? And what are we supposed to do when we are enduring a day or week or season of life during which God seems to be absent?

Here are some thoughts, my meager offering, especially given that whole books have been written about this, but I am trying to cover it in a brief blog post.

Take Comfort

Whenever something unpleasant happens to me, I find comfort in learning that my experience is not unique. For one thing, I can try to learn from others’ experiences how they were able to get through the situation.

In this case, there is very good company on this journey through times of feeling abandoned by God. One relatively recent example of this is Mother Teresa. This saintly woman is well known for her decades of selfless service to the poorest of the poor in India. What may not be as well known, though, is that she had a crisis of faith that also lasted decades, which resulted from her feeling that God had abandoned her. In a letter that she had sent to her pastor and spiritual guide, Michael van der Peet, for example, she said:

“Jesus has a very special love for you. [But] as for me–The silence and the emptiness is so great–that I look and do not see,–Listen and do not hear.”

Mother Teresa, September 1979 (as posted in Time Magazine’s site by David van Biema on August 23, 2007)

Even Jesus experienced God’s absence. I have heard pastors say that the worst thing for Jesus about the whole horrendous crucifixion order was his separation from God, as he exclaimed from the cross:

And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?”(which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Jesus, in Mark 15:34 (NIV)

Remember That Regardless of How You Feel, God Has Promised Not to Abandon You

In times when it feels like God has abandoned you, it may help to remember his promises that he would never leave you nor forsake you. Of course, those promises may feel empty when you’re wondering where God is, so here’s a little story that may help.

My wife and I spent the weekend visiting our daughter and son-in-law our new grandson, who was born in August. I know we also experienced this when this same daughter was herself an infant, but it was even more evident as an observing grandparent than it was as a parent.

Anyway, our grandson has quite the appetite. In fact, he can go from being happy and smiley to very “hangry” (hungry + angry) in an instant. When that happened, my wife or I would get to hold the mad little man while his mom and dad hurried off to the kitchen to arrange for a bottle to feed him. We would try to console him, telling him that his dire situation would soon be resolved. Of course, he wasn’t having any of that. He would scream his head off, wondering why his mom and dad had abandoned him in his time of need. It was tragically adorable.

Here’s the thing: his mom and dad always worked diligently on his behalf to produce an outcome that was probably better than he was able to imagine. But while they were doing that, since they were in another room and out of his view, he seemed to think that they had abandoned him when he needed them most.

But had they actually abandoned him? Of course not.

I think that next time I feel like God has abandoned me, I’m going to try to picture my grandson’s cute little face turning bright red from his urgent screaming and wonder to myself if that’s what I look like to God.

Remember That God May Be Maturing Your Faith

Along the same lines as the story about my daughter and her family, it’s worth noting that while she exhibited the same behavior as her new little baby when she was his age, she doesn’t act like that anymore. Why is that? Well, as part of the process of teaching her and helping her to grow up, my wife and I gradually let her go longer and longer before meeting her needs. This helped her to learn that we would meet her needs, but not always in the timing that she expected–and not always in the way that she expected. The fact that she is not still eating out of a baby bottle is evidence that one day, when she cried because she was hungry, we addressed her need with baby food instead of milk–something quite unexpected indeed (and she let it dribble down her chin as her way of telling us it wasn’t the milk she had been expecting).

In the same way, God does not want us to spend our entire Christian journey consuming milk from a baby bottle. He has innumerable ways of helping us grow, and one of those ways may be to appear absent from us for a time, teaching us to trust him and his promises–similar to what Paul says in his letter to the Romans:

Not only so, but let us also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. 

The Apostle Paul, in Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)

Go Looking for Him

God isn’t particularly hard to find, provided you are looking in the right places. This doesn’t necessarily mean church, since there’s nothing magical or mystical about it–we probably won’t encounter his presence every time we go there.

Well, where else can you find him?

Good question. The answers are as numerous as there are people on this planet–and even more than that. Each person may need to look in different places. In fact, each person may need to look in different places each time this happens to her or him! Hopefully this isn’t surprising, but our Creator is creative!

You may find God on a mountain hike or a stroll through the woods on a golden autumn afternoon. You may find him by gazing at the night sky, suddenly amazed by the magnitude of it all. You may hear him in the endless crashing of waves on the beach or the gentle lapping of the ripples against your boat. You may find him in the rain or brilliant sunshine.

Or you may find him wandering through the pages of his Word–after all, the Bible is his love letter to us. His voice gives life to the words and stories it contains. That’s how these passages speak to you in different ways each time you encounter them. And that’s why the Bible isn’t like any other book, where you should feel comfortable setting it aside because you’ve already read it. Or if you have done that, then maybe it’s time to pick it back up to see what you will find.

You should also be able to find him by connecting with other followers of Christ. We are, after all, called to be the body of Christ to one another. You never know when a godly friend will pass along an inspired word or vision to you–or when you might feel the brilliance and warmth of God’s smile shining through that of anyone you encounter.

Finally, Don’t Be Afraid–Trust Him

I know it can be frightening to feel like God has abandoned you. I mean, it can lead you to dark alley questions like, What if this whole God-thing was made up??

In the interest of brevity (since this seems to be running long, despite my best attempts at being brief), let me point out one of the last things the Apostle Paul said to his son in the faith, Timothy:

For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NET)

This means that if we’re feeling afraid, we should remember that this feeling did not come from God. It also means, that it’s possible (if not likely) that our feelings of fear and abandonment are coming from Satan, who would like nothing more than for us to believe the lies that he plants in our minds, like those dark alley questions. He wants us to not trust God. If we have to have faith in God, he wants to keep it at a low level of maturity, where we only believe God exists or trust him in the few moments when we can sense his presence.

I don’t know about you (well, I think I do!), but I would rather listen to words that were inspired by God than those hissed into our ears by the enemy. I would rather trust God than anyone else–even myself (although that’s harder than you’d like it would be!). I’d prefer to take comfort from a friend who gave his life to save mine:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

Jesus, in John 14:1-3 (NIV)
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Reaping What You Sow

Posted on October 16, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

Fall is harvest season, so maybe that’s why it caught my attention when we read through Paul’s letter to the Galatians in the #Daily Audio Bible and encountered this verse:

Borrowed from YouVersion

Logically, this makes sense. Nobody would argue with the fact that if you plant corn in the spring, you will reap corn in the fall. If you plant beans, you won’t get cucumbers or pumpkins. You’ll get beans. Again, all very logical.

So it makes me wonder why we all, at times, plant garbage into our lives and then are surprised when we reap garbage. Even worse, sometimes we blame God when we reap the garbage we’ve planted. We shake our fists at him for not answering our prayers.

When it comes to living our everyday lives as followers of Christ, we have, throughout each day, many opportunities to choose whether to practice the presence of God or to act as though God is not present in our lives.

If we plant seeds of practicing God’s presence, we will reap his blessings. What does that look like? It looks like thanking him for the blessings he gives us every day. It looks like asking him to help us navigate a difficult situation. It looks like turning to him when fear bubbles up within you. It looks like immersing ourselves in his Word, expecting to hear from him.

This is easier said than done, I know. I mess this up as much as the next person. It’s all too easy to fall into our old patterns of behavior. Of course, the enemy knows this, so he sets those traps for us.

Thankfully, though, our God is patient with us. He waits for us to realize that we’ve screwed up (again) and to meander sheepishly back into his presence. With infinite lovingkindness, he welcomes us back. I am so thankful for that!

It’s worth noting that reaping God’s blessings does not mean we will always get our way or that our lives will be easy. God never promised that.

What he did promise is that our eternal destination was improved considerably and unalterably the moment we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior. He also promised that all along the way to our heavenly home, he would help us deal with all the rotten things that can happen to us and those we love.

That’s the benefit of sowing the seeds of living into God’s presence. We receive the peace and comfort and strength we need to deal with life. If you sow any seeds other than that, you will find yourself harvesting a crop of weeds: fear, anxiety, anger, hatred, greed, strife, jealousy, selfishness, lust, violence. You know, all the stuff you see in the news.

What kind of crop would you like to reap in your life? Whatever it is, are we sowing the right kinds of seeds to get the crops we want?

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Imitation Jesuses

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

Paul calls us to imitate him imitating Jesus.

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

Paul the Apostle, in 1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV)

Worthwhile things are often imitated to make them more accessible to more people. For example, for something to be called “champagne”, it has to come from the Champagne region of France. But winemakers all around the world create sparkling wine to make it so more people can enjoy the taste and feel of champagne, and some of it is quite good. However, not all imitations are close to the quality of the thing they are imitating. For example, my grandmother used to make an imitation apple pie that actually contained no apples; instead, she used Ritz crackers instead of apples (I’m not making this up–I think she called it “mock apple pie”).

So, given that we are all called to be imitation Jesuses, what kind of imitations are we?

In our prouder moments, I suppose we would prefer to think of ourselves as being closer to the sparkling wine end of the spectrum than the Ritz cracker “apple” pie side of it. But in reality, we are probably more often like fake apple pies.

But hey, you may object, how in the world are we supposed to imitate Jesus? He had the unfair advantage of being God.

While that may be true, I also don’t think that Paul or Jesus meant for that to be an excuse for us not to try. God sent us his son not only to save us from our sins, but also to show us the way we are to behave–the way we are to interact with God and with each other.

So what does it mean to be an imitation Jesus? It means we are to strive to have the same sort of relationship with the Father that he had (and still has)–talk with him regularly, worship him, and immerse ourselves in his holy Scriptures (his love letter to us), to the point where we could quote them to Satan even on our worst days. It also means we are to relate to one another the way Jesus related to almost everyone he met (the exception being the religious people, who had traded in God’s extravagant love for a cheap imitation–a checklist of rules).

But I can’t possibly do that! you may object again.

You’re right, you can’t. And neither can I. At least, not on our own.

We can only do this with help from God. But guess what? Since God is calling us to imitate Jesus, I’ll bet he delights in answering our prayers when we are asking for the ability to behave like Jesus in any given situation!

But does that mean we will always do it? Of course not. I don’t know about you, but I often struggle to get myself out of the way. I know how I want to act. I’m usually confident I know how Jesus would want me to act. But then, for reasons I can’t explain, I don’t act that way.

It can be so frustrating and disappointing.

Fortunately, Paul (the same guy who told us to imitate him imitating Christ) also struggled with this, as he writes in his letter to the Romans:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 

Paul the Apostle, in Romans 7:15 (NIV)

So what are we “mock apple pie” imitation Jesuses supposed to do? How can this ever work?

Every time we fail, we are to sheepishly return to God. We are to admit to him that we really wanted to be like Jesus this time, but we failed again. We are to ask for and accept his forgiveness. And then we are to ask for him to help us next time, including help getting ourselves out of the way.

Little by little, he will chip and chisel away at the parts of us that get in the way. Gradually, he will replace the Ritz crackers with actual apples.

And along the way, we are to thank him for the oceans of grace in which we swim, for the rivers of mercy he sends washing over us.

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Masterpieces in the Making

Posted on September 25, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

This past week, in our journey through the Bible in one year, Brian Hardin and the Daily Audio Bible family passed through Ephesians chapter 2. A particular verse caught my attention:

Borrowed from YouVersion

I was pondering the idea of writing this week’s post based on that verse. Then in church this morning, the verse came up during the sermon, so I took that as God’s confirmation that I should write about it.

So, we are God’s masterpieces, His handiwork. I think there are a couple reasons why this verse caught my eye. First, whenever an artist creates a masterpiece he or she is generally proud of it. A masterpiece is something you would point to and proudly declare, “I created that!” This is important because we may have a tendency to focus on our failures when it comes to our relationship with God. But God doesn’t do that. He doesn’t focus on our failures–He fixes them. By the time He is finished with us, He will proudly declare “I created her!” or “I created him!”

Of course, that will be His declaration as we come into His presence in heaven. In the meantime, in the now and the not yet, God is still working on us. In one sense, we are already masterpieces–since we have accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior, we can “put on” Jesus and appear perfect before God. On the other hand, and in a contradiction I may never understand this side of heaven, God is not happy with us when we fall short. There is judgment, but thankfully, there is also grace and mercy, and forgiveness. This is the “not yet”–God isn’t finished with us yet.

So this was the second reason this verse got my attention. In today’s culture of instant gratification, we tend to run out of patience, with God and with ourselves. We want our mission in life to be accomplished over a weekend. We want to be the best at something right now, without putting in the work to get there. We want God to take away the thorn(s) in our flesh right now.

But masterpieces take time. Some believe it took Leonardo da Vinci four tries over 16 years to complete the Mona Lisa (some even say he never finished it, which was kind of my thought when I saw it, since it’s a lot less impressive than I expected). Beethoven worked on his Ninth Symphony for over 30 years.

Although I have never created a masterpiece, when I was working on the manuscripts I have written, when going back over them for self-editing, sometimes I would come across a paragraph I had created previously that would make me think, Ew, what was I thinking? So I would tweak it to make it better. For pieces that they worked on for so long, I can imagine da Vinci and Beethoven going back over something they had done before and thinking the same sort of thing (in their own languages, of course!). So they fixed those things, and in the end, they created brilliant works of art.

And so it is with God and us, as his masterpieces in the making. Sanctification–being made holy–is a process. He may see something in us that makes Him think, Ew, we need to fix that! And so He does, working in us to make those things better. We simply need to be patient with Him, and try to cooperate with Him as best we can. We need to listen to Him and follow His promptings. We should walk with our Gentle Shepherd and allow Him to guide us.

In the end, He will point to you and to me and proudly exclaim, “Look what I created!”

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Teach Us How To Pray

Posted on September 19, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

I was praying with a brother at a men’s group function at church this past week. He confessed to me afterward that he wasn’t quite sure how to pray. I’ve grappled with this in my journey, so I wanted to provide a few thoughts that I’ve gleaned from Scripture over the years.

First off, one of the most important things, is that prayer is meant to be a conversation between you and God. Jesus models this for us regularly. He talks to his Father as though He is right there–because He is. But He is “right there” for you and me, too.

Along those same lines, another observation is that no special language is required for something you say to God to be considered a prayer. Just tell Him whatever is on your mind. Talk to Him as you would a friend. This is what He wants for us, to be in a relationship with Him. I think we all have a human tendency to think that there is some magic formula to prayer, that if we ask for something in just the right way, God will grant us what we are asking for. But this makes God seem like nothing more than a cosmic slot machine–put your dollar words in and pull the lever, hoping that this time you’ll get lucky.

Well, what about the Lord’s Prayer? you may wonder. Isn’t that sort of a “magic formula?” No, it’s not. In Matthew’s recollection of Jesus teaching his disciples what has come to be known as the Lord’s Prayer, he noted that Jesus said, “This, then, is how you should pray.” (Matthew 6:9 (NIV), emphasis added). In other words, he lays out a structure for prayer. He is not giving us the exact words to say. He is pointing us that while God wants us to talk to Him like we would our dad, we must always remember to revere Him as well. He is reminding us that our dependence on God is a daily endeavor–not a “one and done” experience. He is helping us remember that the extent we forgive others is how we ourselves will be forgiven.

Something else I’ve learned about prayer from Jesus is that we are to be persistent about it–see Luke 18:1-8. There are still many mysteries about prayer, so I admit I don’t fully understand why He directs us in this way. One guess I have (this is not something from the Bible, only a guess on my part) is that God wants us to learn to depend on Him and to lean on Him daily–going back to the reminder in the Lord’s Prayer to give us our daily bread.

Another observation to close with: if you agree that prayer is meant to be a conversation between you and God, then part of your praying life should include listening as well since conversations are dialogues. This is admittedly another challenging aspect of prayer, and probably worthy of its own blog post. For now, let me say that the most common way I hear from God is through His Word. Sometimes it will be something I read in my daily Bible reading or hear in the Daily Audio Bible passages for the day. Other times, it may be one of my favorite verses popping into my mind.

In any case, what matters most about praying is that you do it. This is one of the most powerful weapons we have against the evil one. It brings us closer to God, and it calls His power into our lives. What could be better than that?

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I am a Child of God

Posted on September 11, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

<Author’s note: I reworded this to try to clarify my point>

Who am I?

Within my family, I have many titles: husband and father; son and brother before that. I love those roles. I am loved in them. In spite of that, sometimes I allow myself to believe lies fed straight to me by the evil one. I allow myself to believe perceptions that logically I know are not the truth. I have lost sleep over this at times, which is utter foolishness. From time to time, for example, I have given in to the lie that my family does not respect me. This is not the truth, but our enemy is a great deceiver. Love is messy, and family love is no exception. We can pick at each other, say things we don’t mean. We can believe things that are not true. These are all weapons of the evil one, whose goal it is to break what is beautiful and sacred.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Jesus, as recorded in John 10:10

On the other hand, at work, I have the titles of Vice President and Account Executive. There I am shown a tremendous amount of respect. But there, of course, I also do not experience the love that I feel within my family. So if I allowed myself to be defined by the high level of respect that I experience at work, that wouldn’t make sense because that’s not reality. That’s not the truth, either. I am very good at what I do, but I’m not perfect, I make mistakes. I am human. So if I were to start patting myself on the back because of my achievements at work or the respect I receive there, the evil one will surely find a way to use that against me–pride goes before the fall, and all that (a loose translation of Proverbs 16:8). I must always remember–and I remind myself daily–that God has given me all the abilities and opportunities that have carried me to these heights. I did not get here on my own–God made the way for me.

Anyway, as I was wrestling with all of this, I felt God put this song on my heart to answer my identity question: No Longer Slaves by Bethel Music. In particular, the lyrics that popped into my mind were these:

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

No Longer Slaves lyrics © Bethel Music Publishing, by Brian Johnson / Joel Case / Jonathan David Helser / Joel D Case

It was funny, too, because a really good friend of mine told me the next day that this song had been going through his mind as well. As I’ve mentioned before, I do not believe in coincidences with God. I think God was making sure I got the message. Or more likely, that we were both getting the message.

So that’s the title I need to focus on: Child of God. Of course, I am still a dad, husband, son, and brother, for all the glory and the grime of family life. And I’m still a VP and Account Executive. But above all that, I am a child of God. I’m no longer a slave to respect or performance. God loves me in spite of my worst days. Thanks to Jesus, He forgets all of my bad behavior as soon as I ask for forgiveness, and maybe even before that. More than anybody else in the world, God loves me for me. I can’t earn that, but neither can I screw it up.

Only God defines my identity. That is the good news, the best news. I am swimming in an ocean of grace–we all are, those of us who accept the title. I am a child of God.

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Even Job Has a Happy Ending

Posted on September 4, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

This past week, in the Daily Audio Bible’s journey through God’s Word, we slogged through the book of Job. I know I’m not alone when I say this is one of the most difficult books of the Bible to process–if not the most difficult. In fact, a dear friend of mine believes that this book should not have been selected as one of the books of the Bible when it was canonized. I also think he’s not alone in that assertion.

For anyone not familiar with this book, here it is in a nutshell: it appears that God more or less challenges Satan to find any fault in Job’s faith. As part of this dare, God allows Satan to do anything to Job except take his life. As a result, Job experiences what I think is one of the two worst days described in the Bible (the other being Jesus’s crucifixion). In a single day, Job loses all of his 10 children and all of his wealth.

What’s most troubling to me about this whole situation is that God allows Satan to do this to Job. Or even worse, could it be that God caused this to happen to Job? I can hardly even consider this as a possibility, but Job 42:11 says this: “All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring.” (NIV, emphasis added).

When I dwell on this, there’s a part of me that can’t help but wonder if my friend isn’t right about this book not fitting into the Bible. Whether God allows this to happen to Job or, worse, causes this to happen to Job, either way, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It’s very difficult to reconcile this picture of God with the way I tend to think of Him–a kindly Father who wants what’s best for us and loves us so much that it ends up costing Him His son.

But here’s the thing. With God, there are often 2 sides to the same coin–a deeper theme or high story arc than what you see at first glance. Jesus’s crucifixion, for example, made absolutely no sense in the moment. I mean, God was executed in the most painful and shameful way possible? Really?? But to those of us who have grappled with, understood, and accepted the bigger story arc, we realize that this was the only way that we could have been made right with God, and we also see that God is giving us a glimpse of the ultimate victory we who call on His name will all experience over pain and suffering and death.

And so it is in the book of Job. While I confess that most of the first 41.5 (out of 42) chapters of the book are terrible and I dread them each year I make this journey, at the same time I have to point out that there’s a deeper theme as well: through all his misery and suffering, Job never lost his faith in God. Sure, he was angry with God, but it never rocked his faith. And in the end, God appreciated Job’s honest anger much more than the shallow platitudes Job’s well-meaning but bumbling friends had babbled on about. In fact, God left it up to Job whether to pray for his friends to be forgiven for their foolishness (see Job 42:7-9).

And also in the end, God rewarded Job for his faithfulness. At the start of the book, Job was a very wealthy man, but at the end–in the last 11 verses out of 42 chapters–he was even wealthier:

The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. 

Job 42:12

This is all because he never lost his faith.

Finally, there’s one last thing to keep in mind from this book. Sometimes whether or not a story has a happy ending depends on where you define the end to be. By earthly standards, it makes complete sense that Job could have said that his life was over on that terrible day when he lost everything. Who would blame him if he had declared that to be the end? But he didn’t. And because of that, his story–this miserable book of the Bible–has a happy ending.

There are a lot of endings in this world that do not appear to be happy. Far too many people die sooner than they should, from war, famine, disease. Watching the news, it’s easy to conclude that evil has the upper hand.

But your definition of a happy ending depends on where you draw the finish line.

Most would draw it on the day you lose everything. The day you die tragically early. The day you lose your spouse.

But Job saw beyond that, and God wants us to do that as well. God declares that our ending is really just our beginning. The first 41.5 chapters vanish in an instant as we are drawn into the Light of His presence. Everything that ever went wrong in our life is suddenly made right.

If Job’s story can have a happy ending, so can ours.

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No Such Thing as Unanswered Prayer

Posted on August 29, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

Last week, I talked a little bit about prayer. I also mentioned Pete Greig’s book, How to Pray. The combination of these two things got me thinking a lot about prayer over the course of the last week. Honestly, I have also been grappling with it in my own journey lately as well since a dear friend of mine seems to be close to losing the battle with cancer that she has been fighting for over 10 years. If something like that doesn’t make you wrestle with God about prayer, I don’t know what will.

Let me preface my message by saying that just because I am writing this, it doesn’t mean that I have this all figured out. What I am writing here represents the small sliver of understanding that God showed me as I have been processing it. Like always, I am basing my assertions on the Bible, combined with my own personal experience and observations. But of course, that doesn’t mean it’s all correct, so I’d love to hear back from you if you disagree with anything I say here.

With that out of the way, let me jump in. I think the first thing to put out there is that I think the reason we all–myself included–allow ourselves to believe the lie that God does not answer our prayers is simply because He does not answer them in the way we would like and/or in the timing we would like.

Here are a of couple silly examples to illustrate.

First, if you came to me and asked me for a beet, I might respond by saying, “I’m not going to do that because beets are disgusting, but here’s a carrot instead.” For the sake of this illustration, if we considered your request like a prayer, you would claim that I didn’t answer your prayer because I didn’t give you a beet. However, I could argue to the contrary: I answered your “prayer” by giving you something better than a beet.

Secondly, let’s say you called me in a bind and asked for $2000 to cover your home mortgage payment that month. Let’s suppose that I don’t send you the money you need now, but three months from now, I pay off the entire $200,000 remaining on your mortgage. For that entire 3-month period, you would probably be grumbling about me every chance you get because I didn’t answer your “prayer” in the timing that suited you best. But after I paid off your house, you’d probably feel a little silly for ever doubting me, and you’d probably tell all your friends what a swell and trustworthy guy I am.

So, now let’s take a quick look at the different ways God answers our prayers and why we are tempted to think He doesn’t answer them.

When God’s Answer is “Yes”

This, of course, is the only type of answer that we typically praise God for. “Hallelujah, I found a job! God is good!” This is also usually the only type of answer in which we recognize that God has answered our prayers.

There are many instances of this type of answer in the Bible. Jesus prays to raise his friend Lazarus from the dead and Lazarus comes stumbling out of the grave (see John 11:41-44). In case you’re thinking that doesn’t count since Jesus is himself part of the triune God, he doesn’t give us a pass on that. Instead, he challenged his disciples (and us along with them) that if they/we had faith even as large as a tiny mustard seed, we could tell a mountain to move and it would obey (see Matthew 17:14-21). Also, examples abound of “regular” people who received “yes” answers to their prayers: Elijah prayed for it not to rain and they had a 3.5-year drought (1 Kings 17), then he prayed for it to rain and it rained (interestingly, he had to pray seven times for it to rain before a cloud formed–see 1 Kings 18:41-16); blind Bartimaeus asked for his sight to be restored, and Jesus made it so immediately, explaining that Barticmaeus’s faith had made him well (Mark 10:46-52).

When God’s Answer is “No”

But wait–was it only because of Bartimaeus’s faith that he was healed? No, there are other people in the Bible who Jesus heals whose faith we hear nothing about. Or what about us–when we feel like there is no answer to our prayers, is it because we lack faith?

OK, so here it is: “no” is an answer, too. None of us like to be told “no” (some of us have more practice at it than others), but it is an appropriate response to a question.

But why would a God who loves us ever tell us “no”? Anyone who has ever been a parent should be able to explain simply that it’s not healthy for their child to give them everything they ask for, especially since some of their requests are ludicrous and immature.

Well, what about when we’re not praying for something as trivial as a piece of candy at the store? What about when we are praying for healing for a loved one? I prayed for healing for my mom and mother-in-law, but God took them anyway. I and everyone from our church small group have been praying earnestly and full of faith for healing for this sister of ours who will probably lose her battle with cancer soon. I’ve been praying for my two prodigal children to realize that Jesus is the answer, the peace and comfort they have been looking for in all sorts of dumb places, but they remain outside the faith.

Why would God say “no” to these prayers?

I don’t have any great answers. One thought is that God made the physical world, along with the natural laws that govern it. If He broke those rules every time someone prayed for supernatural outcomes, there would in effect be no natural laws–the world would be nothing but chaos. I know, not very satisfying.

In a blog post last year, I also speculated that, at least as it pertains to healing, such prayers may actually be answered by God calling the suffering person home, since that person is restored to perfect health, with no trace of cancer or heart disease or dementia. Also not very comforting.

Although it doesn’t answer the question why God would say no to such prayers, maybe it can offer a little comfort to reflect upon the fact that God the Father even said “no” to His own beloved Son in response to his most desperate prayer. In the Garden of Gethsemane, not long before Jesus was to be arrested, beaten, and executed, he begged his Father to take the cup of suffering from him. He was so distressed that he was sweating drops of blood.

But God even told His own Son “no”.

To his credit, knowing that our salvation was at stake, Jesus ended his desperate prayer, “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). Once again, Jesus set the perfect, albeit challenging, example for us to follow.

When God’s Answer is “Not That” or “Not Now”

As I illustrated with my silly examples earlier, these answers are very difficult to discern from a plain “no”. For me, it is usually only through hindsight that I can see how God has in fact answered my prayers in better ways and in better timing than I had asked or imagined.

Here’s the thing: even though I don’t mean to, I suppose I am trying to take on God’s role when I prescribe to Him what I want the outcome of my prayer to be–for example, if I prayed for a beet (which I wouldn’t) instead of sustenance. Similarly, I guess you could say I am trying to steal His big giant hat and put it on myself when I judge that He has not answered my prayer. He has told me (and all of us) that His ways are higher than mine and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:9)–how odd that we need to be reminded of this so often.

Final Thoughts

In closing, I’ll leave you with a few thoughts (and reminders for myself) of what to do if you feel like God is not answering your prayers.

First, KEEP ASKING! This seems almost counterintuitive and common sense at the same time. Anyone who has had a child ask for something over and over and over again knows how annoying it can be. And I really try my best not to annoy anyone. But Jesus himself told us to do this! See the Parable of the Persistent Widow in Luke 18:1-8.

Second, look for ways that God might have answered your prayers in ways you hadn’t expected. Did God give you a carrot instead of a beet? If so, thank Him immediately.

Next, be patient! Remember, Abram and Sarai had to wait 25 years before the promise of Isaac was fulfilled. God may be waiting for exactly the right moment in time to answer your prayer. I know Amazon.com and the plethora of streaming services, among others, have conditioned us to expect instant gratification, but–news flash!–God understands the value of patience and perfect timing.

Finally–and you may have to do this through gritted teeth, like me–practice ending your prayers like Jesus did in Gethsemane: “Yet not my will, but your will be done.”

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No Gold Scepter Required – But Still, We Should Tremble

Posted on August 21, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

This past week I had an interesting confluence of thought-threads that inspired me to write this post. I suppose you could call it a coincidence, but from what I’ve seen of the way God has worked through my multi-decade journey, coincidences have gone the way of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy–I no longer believe in them. I think that God orchestrates things in our lives to help us connect seemingly separate dots–to show us a new way to think about something or to nudge us into action. I also think He does this far more often than we notice.

But I digress already. The first stream in this interesting confluence came when I was listening to a great book on prayer, How to Pray: A Simple Guide for Normal People, by Pete Greig. In it, he talks about meditating over a simple phrase at the start of your prayer time–anything that will help center your mind and chase away distractions. I decided to try this at my prayer time afterward. I left my mind open to whatever phrase God would put there, and what popped into my head was, “You are my King.” So for that day and the days since, I’ve been starting my prayer time by meditating on that phrase a few times, accompanied by some deep, intentional breaths.

The second stream flowed into my consciousness through the Daily Audio Bible reading the next day. This week we made our way through the book of Esther. Mordecai, Esther’s uncle, needed Esther to plead before King Xerxes on behalf of all the Jews in the land, to save them from Haman’s evil plot to kill them all. Even though she was one of Xerxes’s wives, Esther was reluctant to go before the king, explaining:

“All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king.”

Esther 4:11 (NIV, emphasis added)

In case the suspense is killing you and you don’t remember there even being a book in the Bible called “Esther”, King Xerxes extended the gold scepter, so Esther’s life was spared, enabling her to launch a counter-plot that ended up saving all the Jews in the kingdom. This brought home Mordecai’s prophetic words in response to Esther, which is probably my favorite verse in Esther:

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14b

But I digress again. Anyway, shortly after hearing this story in the Daily Audio Bible reading, when I came to my prayer time, I entered God’s throne room breathily repeating the words, “You are my King.”

Then, POW! Jesus connected the dots for me: “Don’t take for granted the ability to enter into My Presence! And be glad you don’t have to fear for your life–no gold scepter required. Only because I love you.”

ZAP! I was electrified like a moth drawn too close to a bug zapper.

I have to admit that sometimes I can be too cavalier about entering into God’s presence. I pop my head in and rattle off a few requests, then hurry on my way, as though God were my assistant. I have been in a relationship with Jesus for so long that occasionally I allow my familiarity to cloud my vision of who He really is.

Yes, Jesus loves me. He sticks with me, closer than a brother. He wants what’s best for me. He will do anything for me, and He always gives me what I need, but not always what I want (which is part of what I need, to not always get what I want!). What a friend we have in Jesus, and all that.

But…

But, He is God. He spoke the universe into existence. With ease, He parted the Red Sea to enable the Israelites to escape a murderous Phaoroh on dry ground. With a word, He totally squelched an angry storm that was powerful enough to scare the hell out of experienced sailors. He defeated death.

In other words, He is not to be taken lightly.

It is entirely appropriate that we find peace and comfort in God’s presence. As David famously wrote:

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.

Psalm 23:2-3 (NIV)

But it’s also entirely appropriate that we remember God’s awesome power as we enter into His presence. We can and should love Him and cherish our relationship with Him, but we should also tremble when we come in contact with Him.

Even though there are plenty of passages in the Bible that support the idea of trembling in the presence of the Lord, I want to shift over to C.S. Lewis because he also said it very well. In one of my favorite passages from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (from The Chronicles of Narnia), Lucy encounters Aslan the lion (the Christ figure from the series) for the first time. She’s terrified. She asks her traveling companion, Mr. Beaver if the lion is safe. Mr. Beaver’s response is classic C.S. Lewis:

Borrowed from Focus on the Family

So enter into God’s presence whenever you want, thankful that out of His goodness, no gold scepter is required. He welcomes you and loves you and longs for you to talk with Him.

But also remember that as loving as He is, He’s also not entirely safe. This is because when you come before God, you gather up your life in your hands and offer it over to Him. And you just never know what He’s going to do with it.

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Earn This – Oh Wait, You Can’t!

Posted on August 14, 2022 by Writing & Photography by David K. Carpenter

In the epic World War II film “Saving Private Ryan,” there’s a moving scene (among many) in which Captain Miller (Tom Hanks’ character), who is about to pass into eternity as one of many men who sacrificed their lives to (you guessed it) save Private Ryan (Matt Damon’s character). Right before Miller dies, though, he asks Ryan to come close so he can impart his final words. He says to the young soldier, “Earn this…earn it.” Here’s that clip, in case you haven’t seen the movie (or to refresh your memory):

This morphs into the final scene of the movie, in which we see the elder Ryan standing over Miller’s grave in the National Cemetary. It becomes clear that he has lived his life trying to earn the sacrifice of Miller and so many others when he says to Miller’s grave, “I hope that, at least in your eyes, I’ve earned what all of you have done for me.” Then he turns to his wife and says, “Tell me I’ve led a good life…tell me I’m a good man.”

This is a moving couple of scenes because it’s gratifying to see that Private Ryan did everything he could to follow Captain Miller’s final order–to live in a way that made his sacrifice worthwhile. But, touching as it may be, it’s a work of fiction.

In the real world, there’s someone who, along with his own band of brothers, also made the ultimate sacrifice. He did this for me. And he also did it for you.

But here’s the thing. His last words to us were not, “Earn this.” In fact, if he were going to say anything like this, it would have been, “You can’t earn this.”

But the secular world has gotten this all wrong. Even a lot of religious people have bought into Satan’s lie. There’s a commonly accepted notion that by behaving well enough, anyone can earn their way into heaven–that God will have no choice but to accept you because you are a good person. Conversely, the thinking goes that if you behave badly enough, that will disqualify you from ever getting into heaven.

One important thing that’s overlooked and clearly not well understood by people who hold this view is God’s grace.

The Apostle Paul explains this really well and with uncharacteristic simplicity in the second chapter of his letter to the Ephesians. He starts the chapter off by pointing out that everyone has lived in disobedient opposition to God. But, he says, because God is rich in mercy, and because He loves us so much, He didn’t just turn His back on us or banish us from heaven forever. Instead, He enabled us to get right with Him by offering up His Son, Jesus, to take the punishment we deserved for our disobedience. This is the gift of grace, which he explains like this:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV, emphasis added)

When he says, “not by works,” he means that we can’t earn it. We are only saved by grace. The only thing we can–and must–do is to receive the gift of grace by placing our faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.

An analogy came to me as I was thinking through this article. We all live in darkness. But we know there’s a light switch that, if we could flip it, would enable us to live in the light. The trouble is, we can’t reach the switch to turn it on. We may think we can–we believe we can jump high enough (live well enough)–but in reality, we cannot. Only God can reach the switch. In fact, He has already turned it on, but we have covered our eyes. All we have to do now is trust Him enough to take our hands away from our faces.

Having pointed out that we can’t earn the gift of God’s salvation, I should also say that it is an entirely appropriate response to live into that–to live in such a way that shows gratitude to God for the grace He has given you. Because of God’s unbelievable gift to us, we should do the things He has asked us to do: feed the poor, show kindness to a neighbor, put others’ needs above our own, and so on.

A caution with this, though, is that if we aren’t careful, our thinking could once again devolve over time into believing that the gift of grace came after we lived well and not before it. In other words, we could return to the incorrect belief that we earned salvation, that we were such good people that God had no choice but to forgive us for our sins.

Why is this so important? For one thing, in order for us to relate correctly to God, it’s essential that we understand that our relationship with Him has everything to do with Him and nothing to do with us or what swell people we are. Also, in order for us to truly treat others the way God wants us to, we must realize that we are no better or no worse than each other. We all have screwed up. My mistakes are no better or worse than yours. Just like you, I would be living in darkness if God had not flipped the switch and helped me take my hands away from my eyes.

As Paul puts it in the next sentence in his letter to the Ephesians:

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

Bottom line, even though we can’t earn God’s grace, we should live like we are trying!

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