(Good Friday Reflection)

This morning, as I read through the Gospel accounts of the crucifixion and worked through a Holy Week devotional, I tried something I don’t often do.

I placed myself in the crowd.

Not as a reader.
Not as someone who already knows how the story ends.

But as someone standing there—watching it unfold in real time.

One of the devotionals posed a question that I couldn’t shake:

Where would I have been?

Would I have protested what was happening?
Would I have spoken up?
Would I have tried to stop it?

Or would I have stood there… silently?

If I’m being brutally honest, I think I know the answer.

I would have been watching.

Quiet.
Conflicted.
Unsure what to do.

What about you?

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And then I tried to imagine what I would have been feeling in that moment.

Admittedly, I can’t fully separate my perspective from what I now know—that this wasn’t the end of the story.

But even so, here’s what came to mind:

Horrified

Horrified at the brutality.
At the sheer capacity we have to inflict pain on one another.

Horrified that my sin carries a cost this high.

Horrified that I would have stood there—
watching an innocent man, a friend, suffer—
unable to stop it.

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Humbled

Humbled that God would go to such lengths
to make a relationship with me possible.

Humbled that Jesus knew He didn’t deserve this…
and I did.

And yet He took my place.

Willingly.

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Grateful

Grateful that He did this for me.

Grateful that His grace was patient with me—
even as I slowly came to understand and accept it.

Grateful that no matter how many times I fall short,
His sacrifice is still enough.

Always enough.

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And as I sat with all of that…
I felt tears beginning to form.

I’m not sure which of these emotions caused them.

Probably all of them.

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Good Friday is a difficult day to sit in.

It forces us to confront both the depth of our brokenness
and the depth of God’s love.

It shows us, without filters, what sin does—
and what grace costs.

But it also reminds us of something we might otherwise miss:

Jesus didn’t stay on that cross because He had to.

He stayed because He chose to.

Today, I’m sitting in that tension.

Not rushing past it.
Not jumping ahead to Sunday.

Just sitting at the cross.

And remembering what it took
to bring me back to God.

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A Question to Sit With

If I had been there that day…
what would I have done?

And more importantly—

What does it look like for me to respond to that sacrifice today?

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Go Deeper

Why We Don’t Rush Past This Day

There’s a natural instinct to move quickly from the cross to the resurrection.

From pain… to victory.
From death… to life.

But Scripture invites us to pause here.

To sit in the cost.

“He was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities…
and by his wounds we are healed.”
Isaiah 53:5 (NIV)

The cross shows us two things at the same time:

The depth of our sin.
And the depth of God’s love.

If we rush past Friday,
we risk cheapening what Sunday celebrates.

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A Question to Sit With

What does it mean—not just to believe in the cross—

…but to let it shape how I live?