This week, I’ve been in chains. Chains of bitterness. Chains of revenge. Chains of hatred, if I’m being honest.

During the same week in which we commemorate the horrific terrorist attacks that took place twenty-four years ago, another act of political violence made headlines: the tragic assassination of Charlie Kirk.

Just days before his death, Charlie Kirk posted these words:

“Jesus defeated death so you can live.”

Charlie Kirk

And as pastor John MacArthur once wrote:

“All death can do to the believer is deliver him to Jesus.”

John MacArthur

Those words are true—but still, evil feels rampant in our country and in our world. When things like this happen (and there have been far too many tragedies lately), it’s easy to let them consume us. It’s easy to wonder if evil is winning.

Before I go on, I want to note that God has not allowed me to turn this blog political. So I won’t comment further about victims or perpetrators. Instead, I want to share my back-and-forth with God—my own struggle against the chains that bound me—just in case I’m not the only one wrestling with these things. I don’t claim to have handled it perfectly, nor do I have all the answers. But sometimes it helps to know that others have shared the same struggles.

When I first heard the news, I wanted revenge. I wanted swift justice, a way to stop the senseless violence. I let the chains of hate take hold of my heart.

But this is not the way of Jesus.

God reminded me of His words, through His Apostle Paul:

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

Romans 12:19 (NIV)

Paul’s words get even more challenging:

On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Romans 12:20 (NIV)

(with the possible exception of the part about heaping burning coals on their heads!).

Along these same lines, Jesus reminded me about how I am supposed to handle situations like this:

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Matthew 5:44 (NIV)

I’ll be honest: I didn’t want to do any of that. I still don’t. But God has been encouraging me to work on it. And God is teaching me that it will be better—for me, and for the world—if I (and we all) fight back in the way of Christ.

Here’s why:

1. Hatred and vengeance hurt me more than they hurt anyone else.
   This past week I struggled to pray or thank God for His blessings because I was consumed with rage. The bitterness was choking out my joy. As author Anne Lamott puts it:
   “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”
2. Violence only begets more violence.
   If everyone gives in to the animalistic lust for revenge, the cycle will never stop. Jesus said, “All who draw the sword will die by the sword” (Matthew 26:52).
3. My calling is to be a force for God’s Kingdom.
   I cannot offer encouragement or reflect Christ if I’m filled with hate. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).

Does that mean we should sit back and watch society spiral downward? No.

But the way of Jesus is not retaliation. When people opposed Him—even plotting His death—He prayed for them. On the cross, He said:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”.

Luke 23:34 (NIV)

That is the way of Christ. And that is the way I’m asking God to help me live.

My prayer—for myself and for anyone else wrestling with anger over the evil in this world—is simple:

• That I would model Jesus in my interactions with others.
• That I would release (and keep releasing) the hate that wells up in my heart.
• That I would speak up for truth, but always with respect and love.

This is the only way to break the chains I’ve bound myself in.
This is the way of following Christ.

Nobody ever said it would be easy.