Introduction: A Parable That Seems Harsh

There’s a parable Jesus tells in Matthew 22:1-14 that has always struck me as a little unsettling. It’s the Parable of the Wedding Banquet. On the surface, it’s a beautiful story about how God invites everyone into His kingdom—first the original guests (symbolizing Israel) and then everyone else, both “good and bad” (representing the Gentiles and sinners who respond to the Gospel).

But then there’s a twist at the end that has always seemed harsh to me. I figured it was probably something that I was missing regarding the historical or cultural context, but I have usually scooted by it in my reads through the Bible, whistling and pretending Jesus wasn’t really telling a story that seemed so cruel.

As the parable goes, a man who accepts the last-minute invitation to the feast is thrown out because he’s not wearing the right clothes. The king calls him out, has him bound hand and foot, and cast into “outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 22:13).

What?? This seems inconsistent with pretty much everything else Jesus teaches us. Love your neighbor as yourself, the last shall be first, and so on.

So, here’s what I’ve always wondered: why would someone get invited, only to be rejected because he didn’t have the right clothes? And not just thrown out of the party—cast into the outer darkness, which sounds like a terrible place! If he was invited in from the streets at the last minute, how was he supposed to have the right attire?

I had no answers to these questions, so I finally decided to dig into it a little deeper, try to understand what Jesus is really saying.

Let me share what I’ve learned.

The Parable of the Wedding Banquet (Matthew 22:1-14)

Jesus describes a king preparing a wedding feast for his son. The invited guests refuse to come. Some make excuses, while others respond with hostility, even killing the king’s messengers. The king, enraged, destroys the murderers and their city.

Then, he tells his servants to go invite everyone they can find—the good, the bad, the overlooked, and the outsiders. That’s most of us, by the way. As a result of this last-minute slate of invitations, the hall is filled with guests. Everything seems good.

But then we get to the troubling part:

But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. He asked, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without wedding clothes?’ The man was speechless.

Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Matthew 22:11-13 (NIV)

Jesus ends the parable with the sobering statement:

“For many are invited, but few are chosen.” (Matthew 22:14, NIV)

Again I’ll ask: what??

The Wedding Garment: A Symbol of Righteousness

As I looked into this, I learned that in ancient times, wedding garments weren’t just about fashion. They symbolized honor, purity, and belonging. In many cultures, the host would provide guests with appropriate attire—ensuring that everyone, regardless of their background, had the proper clothing for the occasion.

The wedding feast in this parable represents heaven, the Kingdom of God. The king is God, and the wedding feast is for His Son, Jesus. The invited guests (Israel’s religious leaders) reject the invitation, so the offer is extended to all people.

But accepting the invitation isn’t enough. The wedding garment represents the righteousness of Christ—something God Himself provides. I suspect that Jesus was thinking of this verse by Isaiah when he told this parable:

I delight greatly in the Lord;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness.

Isaiah 61:10 (NIV, emphasis added)

In other words, we don’t get to attend the feast on our own terms. We must be clothed in Christ’s righteousness, not our own self-righteousness.

The Problem with the Man Without Wedding Clothes

At first glance, it seems unfair to throw the man out. But knowing the cultural context changes everything. If the king provided the garments, then the man deliberately refused to wear what was given to him.

This isn’t about someone who didn’t have access to the right clothes (like I thought it was)—it’s about someone who rejected the king’s provision and tried to enter on his own terms.

This echoes another passage:

I will greatly rejoice in the LORD,
my soul shall be joyful in my God;
for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness.

Isaiah 61:10 (NKJV)

God offers us the garment of salvation through Jesus, but we have to put it on. The man in the parable was willing to accept the invitation, but not the transformation.

Self-Righteousness vs. Christ’s Righteousness

Many people want to be part of God’s kingdom, but on their own terms. They don’t want to submit, repent, or change—they just want to show up as they are, without surrendering to Christ.

But Jesus makes it clear that we can’t enter the Kingdom of God clothed in our own goodness, probably thinking of these words from Isaiah:

This parable warns us against casual Christianity—believing that we can accept the invitation but reject the transformation.

Paul reinforces this idea:

Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.

Romans 13:14 (NIV)

and

For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

Galatians 3:27 (ESV)

This isn’t about earning our way into heaven. God provides the garment of salvation—we just have to wear it.

Keeping God’s Garment On

There’s something else to consider here. Once we’ve put on the garment of salvation that God has given us, we need to keep it on.

As someone who was raised to be self-sufficient, I’ve had an ongoing temptation throughout my faith journey to slip out of God’s garment and pull back on my filthy rags of self-righteousness. And from talking to others, I know I’m not alone in this struggle.

We might not say it out loud, but sometimes we act as if we’re trying to earn God’s approval—as if we need to prove we belong at the feast. But Isaiah 64:6 reminds us:

All our righteous acts are like filthy rags.

Isaiah 64:6 (NIV)

So what do we do when we catch ourselves doing this? How do we keep wearing the righteousness of Christ, instead of reaching for our old self-reliance?

1. Pray in the Moment. When I realize I’ve fallen into this mindset again, I say a quick, simple prayer: “Help me, Jesus.” That’s all it takes to turn my focus back to Him.

2. Give Thanks for Awareness. Instead of being discouraged that I slipped up again, I try to remember to thank God for showing me my mistake. That awareness is grace in itself.

3. Remember That Only God Can Fix This. Left to my own strength, I can’t change myself. But with God, all things are possible.

The key is this: God clothed us in Christ’s righteousness, not so we could take it off and try to earn our way in, but so we can rest in His finished work.

What Does This Mean for Us?

1. Accepting the Invitation Isn’t Enough

Jesus calls everyone, but not everyone is willing to put on Christ’s righteousness. True faith means surrendering our own self-righteousness and fully trusting in Jesus.

2. We Need to Clothe Ourselves in Christ

We don’t get to define what it means to follow Jesus. He has already provided the way—we must put on Christ and walk in His ways.

3. The Kingdom of God Requires a Changed Heart

We can’t just RSVP to God’s invitation and keep living for ourselves. True faith produces transformation—not perfection, but a heart that desires to follow Jesus.

Conclusion: Are You Wearing the Right Clothes?

The next time you read the Parable of the Wedding Banquet, don’t focus only on the man’s rejection. Instead, focus on the generosity of the King—who invited everyone and provided everything they needed.

God offers us the garments of salvation, the righteousness of Christ.

The question is: Are we willing to put them on? And keep them on?

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Next Steps

🔹 Have you ever struggled with this parable like I did? What stood out to you the most? Share your thoughts in the comments!
🔹 If you’ve been trying to enter God’s kingdom on your own terms, take a moment to surrender and ask Him to clothe you in Christ’s righteousness today.
🔹 Know someone who needs to hear this? Share this post with them!