My career has traversed many peaks and valleys over the years. The peaks have been exhilirating. They’ve given me a sense of joy, accomplishment, and fulfillment.

Looking at the valleys from a positive perspective, they have been learning experiences. But truthfully, they’ve also been painful, as learning experiences often are. They have given me baggage that I wish I could leave at the airport.

Unfortunately, I’m living in the midst of fallout from some of these valleys. I got laid off from my job in June. Another valley, another pothole in the road. More baggage. Every time I lose my job, I vow to do things better–or at least differently–next time. And I think I do. I learn my lessons.

But this is where I also add to my baggage collection. Each time, I think I doubt myself a little bit more. Or maybe a lot more.

Lesson Learned

I thank God that He provided me a new opportunity right away. And in retrospect, it seemed like it was time for me to move on from my previous job anyway.

But I have to say that this new gig is kicking my butt. There’s too much work for me to keep up with. Nevertheless, I’m working really hard to try to keep up and do an awesome job. I always try to do a great job for several reasons, not the least of which is so I can glorify God.

During a few moments of downtime this weekend, however, I think God planted a thought in my mind about this situation: am I working this hard so I don’t lose my job again? Am I afraid of what will happen if I do?

Ouch.

I countered, Well, maybe. But I also like to do a great job.

I felt like God’s response was, That’s great. You should want to do a great job. But is that really all there is to it?

I don’t know if I was really arguing with God, or if it was just my own conscience. But either way, it was another punch to the gut.

OK, maybe there’s more. Maybe I am concerned that if I lose this job, or even if I quit it, that I won’t be able to find anything else. Then what?

Aha! So there it is, God responded, somewhat triumphantly. Then He reminded me about this verse:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10 (NIV)

There may be more for me to unpack in the coming days and weeks, but here’s what I have learned from this so far: this new job, which is a gift from God, is robbing hours from most of my days. It is stealing sleep from me. It has been keeping me from pursuing other things I’m more passionate about. Who knows–the hours and the stress may even be killing and destroying me.

But when I let those thefts occur, it is because I am allowing the evil one to waltz right into my days and take those things from me. I have not been stopping him from doing so because I have not even recognized that this is what has been happening. He has been stealing, killing, and destroying, and I’ve been blind to it.

It made me wonder, what other areas of my life have I been allowing the thief to steal, kill, and destroy? What about people all around me and the world in general–how many golden moments are being stolen from them because they don’t recognize the theft is happening? Or because they won’t look up from their phones or turn off the TV?

I’m not trying to convict anyone here–that’s not my job. Mine is only to share my journey and ask these questions. It’s up to you and God to ask yourself these questions and then decide if they touch a nerve.

What are you allowing the thief to steal, kill, or destroy in your life?

But Wait, There’s More–Trust Me

In case that wasn’t enough, I felt God poke His finger even more painfully into my open wound. God is like that sometimes, but I know He does it for my good. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I felt Him ask me another question: are you concerned about what will happen if you lose or quit your job because you don’t trust Me? Are you doubting yourself, or are you doubting Me?

Ugh. Guilty as charged. And if I’m being honest, I’m pretty sure that doubting God is even worse than doubting myself.

Just last week I wrote about working like it depends on me but trusting God like it depends on Him. And now I realize that I have been working like it depends on me. Full stop. This past week, I might have been a little light on trusting like it depends on Him.

Another ouch.

I’ve seen first-hand how hurtful this lack of trust can be. Someone I respect and care about deeply also cares very deeply for those he knows and loves. Nothing wrong with that, not at all. The trouble is, he worries so much about their well-being that it unwittingly comes across like he does not trust these people to look after themselves, even though they are generally quite capable.

My observation is that this is hurtful to them, even though he means no ill intent–far from it. But it looks to me like he is unintentionally communicating to them that they can’t be trusted to fend for themselves, that only he is capable of taking care of them. In fact, maybe he doesn’t even trust God to do it.

So, just like that unintentionally conveys to them that they are not worthy to be trusted, my actions might as well have said to God that He can’t really be trusted, so I have to take care of everything myself.

But, of course, this makes absolutely no sense! Whom should I trust more–myself or the One who created the universe???

Instead of borrowing trouble or living in a problem-filled future that does not exist, I need to trust God. I need to remember to do that each moment of each day, and not just believe it when I write about it, but then forget it the very next day. I need to ask God to help me figure out how I can do a great job on this new gig as though I’m working for Him (because I am) without killing myself over it. And I need to pray that He will help me find the right work/life balance so that I do not allow the evil one to steal the joy from my life or rob my passions from me.

I need to throw myself recklessly into God’s strong arms. I need to trust that He will catch me and show me a better way forward.

What about you? How can you live in a way that shows God more completely your trust in Him? In what ways might you be allowing the thief to steal, kill, and destroy your joy, your life?

It doesn’t have to be that way. We can make this better, with God’s help.